Dear friends,

We recently gave you some news that we were going to have a little one this summer. We are sorry to say that this past Wednesday we lost our baby. At 13 weeks we believed we were out of the woods, and began to tell family and friends, but unfortunately luck was not on our side.

Julie is doing well after the procedure yesterday, and we are both feeling better than we were. The doctors are doing some tests to see how we should proceed from this point, and I'm sure they will find something that will help us. We are very lucky to have our health, each other, family, and friends, and we thank all of you for having been so kind and supportive and excited for us.

Zander and Julie

Zander sent this out to a few of you last week. Last night when I was trying (unsuccessfully) to sleep, I was thinking about how this terrible grief feels so many different ways. In the very middle of the night I thought I was pretty profound when it felt very much like a dip cone. Crackly on the outside, but soft and melty on the inside. One wrong step and what appears to be neatly tidy and delicious falls completely apart on your lap in a messy and inedible pile of mush. That's so me. I work really hard to smile and make it look like it's kind of alright, but I might also be fighting eye contact because I'm afraid that when that connection happens I'll just lose it. I'll get snot on your sweater or something. And really, I'm so thankful that we've got so much love around us that is more than happy to have to just wash that off a little later. For now, we're sad and vulnerable and raw. We are getting through it though. It seems impossible, but I already feel better than I did last week, and I trust that next week will be better than right now. I'm already looking forward to some happy day very soon where I'm camera*-ready, and wanting to get home and write all about it.

*I'm saving up for a fancy camera. When I was in high school, I'd blow all of my babysitting money right away. On hairspray and curling irons. When I was a little older, I was so broke, that there was no saving to be had- I was always scrounging for change under the seat of my car so I could buy a little bit of gas at a time. Now that I'm alright for gas, and don't need much curling or spraying, I'm ready to save up. In fact, I just got a $160 check from the consignment shop for a bunch of name-brand crap I bought at Saver's.

Have you gone to see Sweet Land yet? No, throughout its entirety there aren't any helicopters or zombies to be found. You won't miss them. Just pure sweetness is what you'll find, probably why they named it the way they did. Filmed in Minnesota. Go. The main character described her life as "all kinds of happiness". That resonates with me. The kinds of happiness that make you jump on the bed, the kinds that make you snort-laugh, the kinds that makes you worry, the kinds that make you weep, the kinds that make you work harder, the kinds that make you love harder, the kinds that make you a better person. Anyway, thanks for being a part of my happiness. Have a great thanksgiving.

1week of art works

Wow... I love this.

Ah, blissfully sleeping in until after 7... I just love it. Today I don't need to go in to work until NOON! Then I've got parent-teacher conferences until 8ish. I've got about thirty parents scheduled to stop in. It's funny, I used to dread these conferences because I felt like a big, awkward twelve year old around the grown-up parents. I'd get a bit tongue-twisted and my palms would even get a little sweaty. I no longer get sweaty, just tired out by the end of the night. The good news is that there are always some crazies in the mix, which makes for good stories later on the couch.

Yesterday, mid-morning, there was a tiny little knock on my classroom door. Interesting because that door usually gets slammed into, or practically ripped off its hinges. Anyway, it was a super favorite student of mine that graduated when we were in Japan, then got married, moved to Montana and had a baby. All before her 20th birthday. Normally I enjoy my students, new and old, but this girl has always inspired me. She makes and sells baby shoes, AND told me all about how to do it and where to buy the little scraps of leather. She sews her own clothes and just took the train across the country to get to Minnesota for a visit. Jeez, I've been so lazy lately! I'm not really making anything, and I'm certainly not traveling. On regular days, I work really hard at school, maybe get a few groceries to make an easy dinner, take a little nap, then settle into a good book or watch a DVD, and get to bed early. Lame, I know! So today, between now and noon, I'm going down to my little studio and breaking out the mosaics. My little sister is going to get a skull and cross-bones mosaic for Christmas, no matter what it takes!

Happy Birthday sweet Hubby. You are exactly what I never knew I wanted, but have all along. Thank you in advance for not killing me. Re: Posting this picture.

I've got a solid colored canvas-like couch and chair that could really benefit from a little running stitch. I've been thinking about it ever since I saw it at Design Sponge in August.

I love the mis-matchedness of this! (Via Lena) Sometimes I can get a little matchy-matchy. I might need to start my non-matching fabric finding mission this weekend.
This quote of the day (which really, for me should be a line to live by) comes from my Lego loving, football playing, student II Joe. "Whoa dude, whoa."

Right around 7:15 this morning, I broke up a fight between three girls throwing punches at another girl. I heard a slam against my door and then a string of profanities, which lead me to believe that I might be needed out in the hallway. Quickly, I put myself in the middle of the catfight, and screeched for them all to "STAND DOWN!" "YOU, YOU, AND YOU... KNOCK IT OFF!" It took a while for them to do so, but eventually I got them, bloody faced and panting, down to the office. My heart was pretty much racing all day, just ready for another go-round with that 'ol flight or fight reflex. I'm hoping to see the security tape. I can't even imagine how funny I must have looked. It truly makes me giggle just thinking about it.

Speaking of giggling, what do you think about our Halloween decoration this year? After finding Santa in our trashcan the day we moved into our place, we've really used the heck out of him.

Last night was the annual pumpkin carving over in Powderhorn, and this is what Zander and I came up with. His is the fancy Daruma and mine is the some-what-wonky-one with the eyes too close together.
And if you get a chance, head on over to the new Big Time Attic and wish Zander a happy #33! If you are sensitive to the scary-freaky-demented, stay away from Tim's last post. Nightmares, here I come. Jeesh.

It's my "prep hour" at school right now and I'm thoroughly distracted. I should be cutting sheets of watercolor paper and finding stuff for our next lesson. I should be tidying and grading and doing very teacherly things. I simply can't. I've got tomorrow and Friday off, and I say yee-haw to a four day weekend. Unfortunately I'm not feeling super yee-haw. Why is it that it's so easy for me to see promise and wonder in all the people around me, but then shrink and worry and doubt my own future? Why does it sometimes feel impossible to be excited about right now because I'm worrying about what's next? I hate that trait and if I could choose between losing that and losing 15 pounds, I'd live happily in tight jeans forever. Superhero always seems to have some words of wisdom for me. Who is Osho anyway? Jeez, I'd really love to take a world religion class. Unfortunately my world religion class taught us the difference between the catholics and the protestants. It also covered which of the two will most definitely spend all eternity in hell. Don't worry, I won't give away the surprise ending.
On a lighter topic, Battle Star Galactica is the new crack. You want to know what's worse that admitting this addiction? Admitting that it's currently being shown on the Sci-Fi channel. Lame and nerdy! Good thing we're still watching it on Netflix.

Just picked up some Halloween candy on sale at Target today. I opened the bag before I put the cart away in the parking lot. Not a good sign.

In an effort to keep our extra bedroom an actual bedroom, instead of the junk pile heaven it so easily becomes, I'm turning a big attic closet into an office. On Sunday I headed over to IKEA to pick up a few things to help me stay organized. It was packed with loud people with their carts filled with oh so much stuff and of course, their loud children. Blech.

I bought this little honey. Think of all the stamps, paper clips and rubber bands it will hold! Then think about the three hours, 88 mini nails and 16 screws that it takes to put it together. I bought two of them. Don't do it people. You'll curse and cry after smashing your thumb again and then pull out most of your hair.

Then, right after I felt so accomplished for finally getting it together, I see how cute it looks when someone else puts it together.
While I think it'd be lovely to make mine all cute, I'm hoping one of those little fairies come and take care of it for me.

Some random stuff:
1) We sold a foosball table on craigslist this weekend. I was sad to get rid of it, but we just don't use it, and it's been disassembled in our upstairs attic for about 2 months... Anyway, the guy who bought it runs a house for ex-felons re-entering society. He said a couple of the guys will come and pick it up tonight. I hate to be paranoid, tacky and inappropriate, but does anyone have a tazor that we can borrow just for tonight?
2) Got my hair cut last night. My stylist (and sweet friend that I miss) moved to New York and so I've been searching for someone new. I won a certificate to the Hair Police last week, so that made for an easy decision. The good news is that it's right above the best shoe store EVER. Oh gosh, Heavenly Soles, why do you vex me so? Taunting me with your cute little Campers. Aimee gave me a good cut, but whisked me out of her chair with my hair still dripping wet. Not that I was looking for anything special, except maybe not looking like I just got pushed into the swimming pool.
3) Speaking of the salon, my eyebrows are out of control. (Please God, don't let Zander read this. I wan't him to always believe in the magic force that keeps my face perfectly hair free) Anyway, I look like a werewolf. I know some of you have never needed to tweeze, but I on the other hand learned long ago that a good tweezerman is my friend. I need some shaping help. I tend to let them go or sculpt them into the thinnest little line that also looks like crap on me. Anyone know someone good and local?
4) Tuesdays are always a fiesta here at the Irondale salad bar. Score for me and my fiesty little banana peppers. Not that I can really taste the food in my prescribed 20 minute lunch break.
5) I'm going to an acupuncturist today. I'm admitting it. I've been trying to exhaust every possible solution to my lovely fertility issues. This is a consultation visit. If I like having needles stuck into my eyeballs (they do that right?) I'll be referring to her from now on as My Very Own Witch Doctor.
6) Not much craftiness going on lately. It must be the changing seasons, but I'm sleepy. I've been falling asleep before nine for the last few weeks.
7) I wish I could share more specifics on funny things that happen here at school. There are some real jewels lately. However. the students still read this here blog. I'm wondering if this entry will bore them sufficiently, so they will just move on?
8) Belly Dance class starts again this Saturday. We had a break for the last few weeks, and I'm really excited to get started again. It's the beginning of the session. If any of you are interested in trying it out, just let me know. It is high on fun, and oh so low on intimidating.
9) I just picked up the cutest little polyester shirt on the Value Village Halloween rack. It was cheap but really smelled like BO. Knowing that Tide always does the trick, and that I've got a new Vanilla Lavendar fabric softener, I picked it up without hesitation. I've washed it twice now and still can't wear it. Still smells. One more washing and if it does not shape up, I'm donating it right back to the Village.
10) Hope your weeks are going well everyone, and that your Tuesday is filled with something even more exciting than fiesta salad bar...

I know lots of people that can't go to sleep when they're stressed about something. Not me, man. I am and have always been, a good sleeper. I really need less than five minutes and I'm out for the night. Instead, my worrying starts the minute the alarm goes off. This morning I stayed in bed 20 minutes later than I should have. 20 late minutes that made me not wash my hair for the 4th freaking day in a row. 20 minutes that made me drive like a crazy woman to get to work in time to park in the non-student parking lot that always fills up. 20 minutes spent in bed stressing about things I can't change. 20 minutes kind of frozen-like, knowing that if my leg is touching my sweet hubby's, then everything is all right, but otherwise I'm screwed. It wears off, and the rest of the day finds me to be pretty optimistic, happy, and a tad sarcastic. So why in the morning? Anyway, I found this great poster on one of the many websites that I check (and now I can't remember which one) and I think I need to get it tattooed on my face as a constant calming reminder.

First to whine a little... Today I've got a sore throat and eyes that hurt if I don't just look straight ahead. Bleh. Tonight is going to be really low-key.

I've been thinking about my stash of boiled wool sweaters and what needs to be done with them. I like the idea of lined winter hats and was so excited to find this tutorial. I'm imagining some exposed edges and cute embroidery.

I'm on my break right now, multi-tasking. Eating lunch, writing emails, grading papers, ordering Sharpie markers... Of course, trying to get it all done before the kids come back in. It amazes me how frozen I was just one short year ago over leaving the elementary and coming here to the high school. Never did I imagine that I would love it this much. These young people feel so strongly. They're angry and ecstatic. They're funny and intense. Today a student brought me a stack of CDs that she really thinks I need to rip onto the computer here. She worried that all of my music sounds a little like Sheryl Crow. She's probably right. So here I am, getting stuff done to an intereresting mix of Jason Mraz, John Mayer, RENT, and Bob Marley. Not even a little bit like Sheryl now.

Well friends, after a year of putting $##,### into improving our humble little home, the city of Minneapolis has cited us. "Repair or replace the fascia at east side of garage by November 20, 2006"... Or pay a big fat fine and legal action. I'm wondering if they cited the crack house behind us on Lyndale? I'm also wondering what the heck fascia is. City Pages had an interesting article about it a while ago. Yes, crime is a big ugly problem that we can't forget about for even on second over here. We've cried alongside parents that've lost their children to violence here. But somehow and somewhere, someone dreamt up a plan for curb-appeal to be our north Minneapolis genie-friend. And our genie does not like unrepaired fascia or buckets for that matter. I call BULLSHIT, and I know I'm not calling it alone. Right now a some-what-angry complainer is what I am. I'd like to get involved, get more angry, and help bring change. Don't know where to start. Bleh.

Zander is at 24 hour comic day right now. Last year I seem to remember two sorta tipsy girls tumbling in to the 24 hour scene, and disturbing the hard working people doing the drawrings. I think Drivas might have even gotten mooned, if I remember correctly???

Need Inspiration?

Go here! Way to go Rebecca!

More monkeys!

I love these!


From Craftster
Also on Craftster

Well, it's Sunday night and the weekend just FLEW by! Friday night we met up with my sister Sara and her husband. She works for the Good Earth and gets a pretty good discount at Chino Latino, so we met up there. I haven't been there in ages, and man-oh-man it tasted good. Their mango shrimp gets me every time. Oh, and naturally so do the Bloody Marys. I was up for a night of relaxing after all the hype of Homecoming at school earlier in the day. Our seniors used their mad art skillz, and whipped up a few t-shirts the night before. I was a bit flabbergasted when I realized that "Homecoming on your face," was not just bad grammar... It was a dirty little pun! The students were amazed that none of their teachers would let them wear their shirts as they were, so about 50 of them marched grudgingly down to my art room to alter them a bit. It was a pretty funny sight to see. I mean, it was very serious business. Ahem. Saturday night we headed over to the Gnome's place for a little bit of basement chilling. So nice to hang out with you guys! Today we've been doing a ton of laundry and I took a super long nap upstairs with the windows open. I love this crisp air!

I'm home for just a second before I head back to school for "back to school night". Just the parents come to this one and I'm a smidge less than excited. Not that I don't just love to meet 'n' greet, I'm just ready for a little down time. Zander's parents were in town this weekend, and geez, they kept us hopping. In a good way. We had a great time at Jeanne's show, going out to eat, watching Shawn of the Dead on the deck, shopping, and of course, getting a few house projects done. After this weekend, our around the house to-do list has shrunken by about a mile.

Now that this little gal has been sent off to her new home, I can show my newest monkey.

First day of School!

Today just the 9th graders came to school. This is so they can be humiliated about not knowing how to buy their hot lunch without the older students rubbing it in. I think it's such a great idea. This semester I'll be teaching 2 painting classes, 2 Art I classes, and an Art II class. I'm pretty excited, mostly for the painting classes. I'm also thinking about introducing some screen printing to my Art II classes, mostly because I think it's so cool and want to learn how to do it myself.

Yesterday we hit a couple of the 1/2 price thrift sales. This jokerman vase makes me so happy.

I also picked up this cool chicken bowl. It's not in perfect shape, but I just love the design.

As a perfect end to a really perfect day, last night Zander and I drank a bottle of wine and burned stuff. Who knew that'd be so much fun? After tearing down the grossest basement shower ever, we were left with some crappy lumber that was just begging to be burned. I'm learning that this Cannon family is filled with pyromaniacs, and as of last night we've done our part in keeping up the family's reputation. Apparently, Zander's grandfather used to burn all of their trash in the living room fireplace: plastic milk jugs, chicken carcasses and all!

This is my latest crafty project. I call this one the double placemat.

This is what happens when I feed little Joey at my house. Now, if this was a full sized picture, you'd see that those carrots are not just on his face, but between his toes, in my hair, and all over both of our outfits. OK, he was wearing an outfit and I was wearing grubby old sweat pants, but you get the point. Isn't he the sweetest? Right now, he's sleeping on our couch, tucked in with a bunch of pillows so he doesn't fall off. I'm trying to type quietly. He was a tough bugger to get to sleep.



I'm savoring my last few days of freedom around here. As are a couple others that I know. There are so many things I'd like to do before next Monday.
I'd love to head out to the Minnesota Arboretum and wander around. This year their theme in The Secret Garden. Have any of you seen the movie? I remember very little about it, except that one of my friends suckered me into sneaking into after seeing some other movie, and we got caught. I was so humiliated. My cheeks still burn when I think back to it. Anyway, I'd also really like to go see the Calder Exhibit at the Art Institute, and the Diane Arbus show at the Walker. Oh yeah, then there are about a million and a half people I'd like to spend time with before time is ultra limited. Did I mention that this Friday is our 5th anniversary? Any ideas for a Friday/Saturday get-away?