Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Just when you'd stopped checking in...

It's been a long time, hasn't it? Wowza. When times get especially tough for me I hunker down and do the essentials. I shy away from friends a little bit, I get sloppy about returning emails, I neglect calling my grandma, I certainly don't update this thing, I under-water the plants, and I over-feed the cats. I'm not trying to make excuses, just realizing some patterns, and really just wanting to STOP THE NONSENSE. I remember back to waiting tables, when I was on the verge of so-freaking-busy-induced-freaking out, I'd get totally silent and do my job. All other systems would shut down so my machinery could just hum along at top speed until I could collapse in the break room. That system sucked. I still have nightmares about waiting tables, and in my dreams I usually spill water on some fat guy at the Pannekoeken. This all sounds dire, I know, but in the whole scheme of things, I'm doing just fine. Is my marriage falling apart? No. Is my house flooded with sewage? Not yet. Did I start using drugs that make all my teeth fall out? No. Is my health failing me? No. BUT, our adoption plan for Colombia fell through. All those eggs that I put in one basket got scrambled and so did I. SO... We dropped our adoption agency and started over. We've started working with another agency (Children's Home Society) and things are working much differently. Colombia is out and Korea is in... For now, and hopefully for the next 10 months or so! Tomorrow our social worker is conducting part II of our home study at our house. Everything is clean--even the knobs on the stove that never get any attention. We're attempting to appear normal by stashing the Vicodin away and keeping the wine on the counter. And Ben, if you've found this blog, that was a lame attempt at pre-home study humor. Anyway, despite my over-use of cliches in this entry, I'm feeling good and especially hopeful, and even a tiny bit peaceful. I'm ready to start watering the plants again! Speaking of plants, I just got this notice about $25 trees! I guess they go really fast, so I ordered mine a few minutes ago.

In other news, my copy of Rhett Butler's People is in at the library. Too bad it's a hard cover because it is coming with me to Mexico for spring break. I hope the library folks don't mind it coming back smelling like suntan lotion and margaritas. Oh Rhett...

7 comments:

LA said...

Whoohoo! JDool is back!
I understand the hiding routine. Glad you came out for Spring.
If I had known you wanted to read Rhett's People, I would have loaned you my copy....that I bought 2 weeks after it came out. It was a escape read and SO good for the diehard GWTWers.

Jocelyn said...

Well, I have been wondering. Suck on the Colombia stuff, but huzzah for Korea. You're sticking with the international effort, I see!

Nice to read your voice again.

Becca said...

I'll never stop checking in, Julie! No matter how long you go in between entries, I still manage to check at least once a week...if not more! I'm so excited about Korea and can't wait to hear more news. Hope Mexico is treating you and Z well...those margaritas are likely flowing right now!! Lots of love, Becca

MOM said...

I always check too. Can't wait till the next entry. I hope Mexico is great!!Come back with a tan to us pasty Minnesotans.
I do have one question- what will you do with 25 trees? Maybe they're mini! XXOO MOM

mel said...

jooliedoolie- see- you're so coolie everyone was waiting with baited breath for a post from you! yours is the only blog i check cuz i scam all your well chosen links ;-)kisses hugs and hi's to you- PLEASE call me if you come to NY there are so many junkshops waiting for picks n perusals! *mel

noellegvainikka said...

maybe this is awkward, but i cant fall asleep... im sitting here surfing the web, yknow, reading random blogs, and i stumbled on yours. i knew you wrote in one, but i didnt expect to find it! that really sucks about the adoption falling through, i was so excited for you!! keep working on the "granny-squares-sock-monkey-colored" baby blanket, though... because i am crossing my fingers this next one will work out :) when i read that, i was like, OH, Ms. CANNON!!!!
...maybe that means i should bring you some dark chocolate on monday?? :)

lori said...

hey Julie,

I always check your blog too
I am sorry about Columbia, I will send good thoughts towards Korea for you guys

we miss you!
love Lori
stick chick