Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's my "prep hour" at school right now and I'm thoroughly distracted. I should be cutting sheets of watercolor paper and finding stuff for our next lesson. I should be tidying and grading and doing very teacherly things. I simply can't. I've got tomorrow and Friday off, and I say yee-haw to a four day weekend. Unfortunately I'm not feeling super yee-haw. Why is it that it's so easy for me to see promise and wonder in all the people around me, but then shrink and worry and doubt my own future? Why does it sometimes feel impossible to be excited about right now because I'm worrying about what's next? I hate that trait and if I could choose between losing that and losing 15 pounds, I'd live happily in tight jeans forever. Superhero always seems to have some words of wisdom for me. Who is Osho anyway? Jeez, I'd really love to take a world religion class. Unfortunately my world religion class taught us the difference between the catholics and the protestants. It also covered which of the two will most definitely spend all eternity in hell. Don't worry, I won't give away the surprise ending.
On a lighter topic, Battle Star Galactica is the new crack. You want to know what's worse that admitting this addiction? Admitting that it's currently being shown on the Sci-Fi channel. Lame and nerdy! Good thing we're still watching it on Netflix.


Ugly Juice said...

Julie, In my own (mildly successful) quest to become a more patient person, I've been trying to embrace this idea of becoming "present-moment oriented." Appreciate the beauty of the here and now and all that. (It's easier said than done, I know, especially with what you've been dealing with.) But if you can wrap your head around it, it helps. I've been keeping a book on the back of my toilet, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, by Dr. Richard Carlson, which is where I got the present-moment thing from. I think the book helps; I'd recommend picking it up. Of course, you are welcome to come over and use my bathroom if you just want to read my copy.

Reb said...

I too understand how difficult it is to just be in the moment and be happy.. worrying about stuff is a way of trying to convince myself that nothing bad will happen if I worry or if I am prepared... but we all know that's not true. It's hard to let go and just be. I am also practicing that are of "just being in the moment" There is a great quote that says, "I have no earthly reason to believe that my worst fear is any more likely to happen than the greatest of my hopes" Also, I just posted about something similar to this on my blog too. Love to you sweet friend.